Tips to help build and boost self-esteem

One thing that can help or hurt your emotional well-being most is your self-esteem. Your self-worth can affect many aspects of your life, and can damage your other relationships outside of just the relationship that you have with yourself. Family and friends can take note of low self-esteem and that self-worth can hurt how you act around them. This doesn’t mean that without self-esteem you don’t deserve adoration or affection from others, the cliche “no one can love you until you love yourself” saying is false and invalidating. However, if you’re noting that your self-esteem is quite where it should be, taking steps that will help you to love yourself is extremely helpful not just for the present you, but the future you as well. 

Firstly it’s important to know that no one is good at everything. It’s impossible, especially for things you’re new to. So, no matter what, it’s important to recognize what you’re good at, that doesn’t have to be work or education, it can be a hobby or a pastime. From cooking to just being a good friend, whatever it is you’re good at is something you should feel proud of. You should cherish that, not just as a morale booster but also as something you enjoy. Actively building positive relationships is something that will help you to achieve better self-esteem, try spending time with people who recognize your worth more, and with others who bring you down, you should try to see or spend time with them less. Building relationships with more people in a positive manner will help you feel better about yourself because you’ll have fewer negative thoughts since you’re not surrounding yourself with negativity. 

Self-esteem also can come with being kind to yourself, and reminding yourself to not be a self-critic. The realization of mistakes is important in achieving growth, however, it’s important to be constructive about your self-criticism and not take everything too seriously. You have to remind yourself, again, that no one is perfect. Think about what advice you might give a friend if they were in your shoes. Another way to help is to learn to be assertive, shut down disrespect and assert respecting others. It’s also important to make sure to be vocal about your needs and what you expect from people. You shouldn’t ever be getting less than others expect from you. If this is a new concept for you, look to others you know who are positive yet assertive. Copy some of the tactics you see them utilizing. You don’t need to not be yourself but it may help to adjust yourself to make sure you’re better suited to let others know your needs. This assertiveness will include saying “no” and that’s okay. Saying “no” is important, being a yes man will not make you feel better, even though you may think it will help you gain favor in the eyes of others. This is only going to lead to feeling burnt out and overburdened and resentful, the people around you shouldn’t expect you to always say “yes” that isn’t healthy and they very likely aren’t going to do that for anyone. 

On the other hand, saying “no” to something that may leave you feeling overwhelmed, and give yourself too much of a challenge can help you feel better about yourself. But, to that point, you might feel nervous or afraid to jump in and try something new, but it can help you feel better to try new things and take risks, and it’s an important part of growth to come out of your comfort zone every now and then, under your own boundaries and circumstances. This does not mean that you have to quit your job and move suddenly, it could just mean picking up a new hobby you’ve been thinking about but have been afraid to get into. Setting a goal, such as trying something new every few months or doing something for yourself every week as a scheduled event you plan around can help you build up your confidence and self-worth. By achieving these goals, you will in turn be helping yourself along the way. Seeking help from a friend or a professional will always be a good way to help. You don’t ever have to take on anything alone. Therapists or even just a friend can help you when things get too tough for you to handle alone. Even your self-esteem can be helped by outside sources.